Dragonflies, Butterflies & Lady Bugs

PolyAngst Test

I neglected to write about Jeff's angst over polygraph tests. Last week he had one as part of this god-awful long ~~hazing~~ hiring process ASU is putting him through. The test wasn't just a test, of course. He had to be asked the questions no fewer than four times, with the fourth being the time he was actually connected to the machine. He was convinced when he came home that he had failed the test because every time they asked him a question like, "Did you ever steal from an employer," he would say "no" and then start thinking, "Oh, but there was that time that I borrowed a wrench and forgot to return it..." He was nervous all the way through, as most people are, and I was pretty sure he did fine, though the issue of his guilt -- unreasonable guilt -- was one I worried about a bit. I get so irritated with the Polish Catholic guilt thing his family has "gifted" him with. It doesn't keep him moral, it keeps him tortured. But I digress.

He took the test on Thursday and we didn't hear anything until this morning, further convincing him he had blown it. He was even preparing a request to retake the test because he thinks they are unfair. Yesterday he told me he was sure they hadn't called because they were sending a letter saying he didn't pass the polygraph. I had a feeling they would call today, and if they didn't, Jeff was going to call and check in. As soon as the phone started ringing this morning, I knew it was ASU. Jeff grabbed it and walked out of the room, clearing his throat nervously and repeatedly.

This job means so much to him -- it's the beginning of a real career, the beginning of a life that was very much on hold while we cared for Jasmine. He wants to do this work, wants to serve the community in this way and I personally think that if there were more police officers with Jeff's temperament, maybe they wouldn't have such a bad rap. He's not a macho dude with something to prove, doesn't have a hateful bone in his body. His interest is in serving and he really cares about people. We need more people like him period, but especially in this field he's chosen.

He was gone for less than five minutes, but when he came in, he launched himself across the bed, exposing half his ass in the process as his pants were pulled down, and buried his head in my chest. My face nearly split from my grin because I knew. He passed the test. Next week he goes for his physical and then on May 4 he has his meeting with the psychologist and then he's done and officially hired. He'll start around May 16.

I am so happy, for him, for me, for us. When he starts this job, he will know he got it on his own, not because he knew someone. He will be on his way to a career that we can take to any other place. He will have made a major stride towards building the confidence that has eluded him over the years. Six months in this position, then he'll be angling for the police recruit position, either at ASU or in one of the cities. Today is a good day.

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