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Paradigms
paradigm: A set of assumptions, concepts, values, and practices that constitutes a way of viewing reality for the community that shares them, especially in an intellectual discipline. I have so many of these shifting right now in the realm of body image, of self, of relationships -- it's like an avalanche in my head. Too much, maybe. How do I retain any sense of reality at all when it feels like all the majors have been called out to play? I am overwhelmed and exhilarated and overstimulated and alive and dead all at once. My dreams are so full of messages I can't process them all. Last night I had one where I was forced to do a comedy bit in some kind of weird parade. The parade "took a break" right before my bit and when I went out, no one was around. I did my thing and the only person watching was my father, who was supportive but clearly wondering why the hell I was bothering. I shrugged and said I was doing my part. Maybe his Leo was calling to mine. I don't know. This is why I seek to go within, why I'm feeling Hermit-y. I don't think my mind will survive the obliteration of another paradigm right now.
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