Comments:

Rowan - 2004-03-08 08:17:57
I am thinking about you every day. I have always liked smashing cheap, breakable things when I am angry, possibly punctuating that with all the things I am angry about being said aloud, like,"Goddamn CF (smash)". Or, maybe doing an anger circle, where everyone chants all the things they are angry about in regards to Jasmine's death. Maybe writing a letter about how you feel right now, all the yucky stuff, and then burning it. I guess, overall, I think the best way to get over the anger is to embrace it- I think pushing it back will just cause it to lay dormant and resurface.
-------------------------------
Cedar - 2004-03-08 10:32:55
I hope that many others will also offer their suggestions on dealing with anger--it's such a great and important question, and I really like Rowan's ideas. When I'm really angry, I like to drum (assuming the drum can handle it), or "dance" around, arms and legs flailing, chopping at the sky, jumping in the air, twirling and whirling until I'm too dizzy to stand. It helps to release some of the angry electricity from my skin.
-------------------------------
Micole Noble - 2004-03-08 11:45:17
William Blake: I was angry with my friend I told my wrath, my wrath did end. I was angry with my foe: I told it not, my wrath did grow. Whatever you do, don't feel bad for feeling angry. You have a right to feel angry. Do talk about it. Don't keep it inside. -Micole
-------------------------------
Marcy - 2004-03-08 12:41:13
Everyone else's suggestions are so much more constructive than mine...I hold it in and then eventually explode at the person I'm mad at for something inconsequential, or wind up beaking something really expensive. I wouldn't suggest either of those options...but it's important that you get it out. Drumming sounds good...anger seems more kinetic, so something active to exorcise it seems right. Whatever you do, remember it's not going to make the anger go away completely or forever, so don't be disappointed to find yourself getting angry all over again a few days later. Above all, as Micole said, don't feel bad for being angry...it's a natural, and necessary, step in the grieving process. Oh, here's one thing I do sometimes...go to Chuck E. Cheese (or equivalent) and play that game where you pound the alligator heads as they pop out faster and faster. It's very therapeutic, Jeff and Gabrielle can play, too, and in the end you can buy some cheap toy with all the tickets you earn. It sounds stupid, I know, but it works for me. {{{{{{{Monica}}}}}}}}
-------------------------------
Me - 2004-03-08 14:45:52
You guys rock -- these are great suggestions. I always wanted an excuse to play that game at Chuck E. Cheese -- the spider squishing one too! It would be a cool ritual to break dishes and dance out the anger. Maybe that's something Jeff and I can do. With shoes on of course.
-------------------------------
Heather - 2004-03-08 22:29:11
I'm not sure I have any authority to be giving advice on this one. I fall into the category of letting the anger stew until I blow up at someone I love over something insignificant. I would like to add my support to what others have said. You get to be angry. If you need to yell for a while, maybe send everyone out on an errand so you can do that. Or, maybe while Gabby's at school you and Jeff can have a shouting match about all the things that piss you two off about Jasmine's death (not directing it at the other, by the way, but you knew that). For me, anger is never really about anger. It's about sadness and lack of control. I often yell when I should cry, and vice versa. Doesn't mean I don't get to yell, even if I should be crying. *shrugs* and *hugs*
-------------------------------

add your comment:

your name:
your email:
your url:

back to the entry - Diaryland