Saturday, Jul. 31, 2004 | 2:06 p.m.



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Still More Coolness

A Girl's Girl

As I mentioned in yesterday's post, we let Gabrielle have a mini-slumber party with two girlfriends on Thursday night. we took them to Chuck E. Cheese, then to Baskin-Robbins, and then home to watch Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen. Gab is such a girl's girl. She loves being with her friends -- craves it, in fact. She's not good at entertaining herself and is very influenced by her friends, which frankly, causes me to worry. Adding these traits to her very real and deep need for affection, well, in about five years, it's going to be a recipe for disaster. She's going to be beautiful with a model's figure (thanks to dad for the great genes). She wants nothing more than to be a dancer or cheerleader. Do you see the writing on the wall? I do. ::shiver::

Still, I find raising my girls to be a great way to face things that I didn't resolve when I was growing up. I read a theory somewhere that parents relive whatever wounds they have from a particular age when their child reaches that age. I imagine it is doubly true with children of the same gender. Anyway, all this stuff about wanting to dance and/or be a cheerleader scares me because that world can be so tough on a person's self-esteem. I struggled with body issues the whole time I was growing up. I have such a fear of subjecting her to that and I find myself coming up with a million reasons why she shouldn't pursue it. And yet, like mine at her age, her body is constantly moving, constantly looking for the rhythm, constantly expressing her feelings. I spoke with a good friend of mine who was a cheerleader in high school about this and she suggested that rather than go the cheerleader route (because the only reason she had gone that route was that it was the best available outlet for her to dance), I could seek out dance troupe opportunities for Gab when we get to Arizona. I think I have to do it. I think I have to let go of my own fears and baggage around this issue and let Gab do it.

Part of it too, is that I find myself wishing she were more intellectual, more interested in learning about things. Don't get me wrong -- she's no dummy -- but her interests definitely lean more towards the Hilary Duff/Lindsay Lohan side of the scale. I miss Jasmine, too, because Jasmine and I had this intellectual thing in common. I think I have been unconsciously trying to force that on Gab and I have to stop. I'm not about to let her get poor grades, or do any less than she's capable of, but I have to step aside and let her be Gabrielle, not Monica's Daughter, or even Jasmine's Sister. The hardest part is watching the damned mind games little girls play hurt her. But she has to learn about it sooner or later, right? All I can do is prepare her the best I can and wipe her tears when they fall.

NOTE: Okay, I think I went a little crazy with the political commentary, eh? Are your eyes watering from the length of those posts? I have to admit I'm feeling a little let down today with no convention to write about. It would be easy for my views on politics to consume this diary, so I will try to restrain myself to only posting about it from time to time. I can hear the collective sighs of relief.

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Recent Entries ...
Go Here - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2006
Short, But Sad Good-bye - Sunday, Oct. 16, 2005
Jasmine's Story ... Our Story - Friday, Sept. 30, 2005
Ache - Thursday, Sept. 29, 2005
Twists & Turns - Tuesday, Sept. 27, 2005

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