Tuesday, Nov. 30, 2004 | 9:15 a.m.



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Still More Coolness

No, Really! I'm Very Scary! Grrawr!

Recent events have led me to see that I have not done a very good job of cultivating my reputation as a rebellious, sneering punk badass. What has happened to my "attitude problem"? I thought I was "unapproachable," dammit, and I've been working on that for years!

See what I mean? willow-rain thinks I'm nice! And a friend of mine from LiveJournal made me cry because she thinks I rock -- but you can't read it 'cause it's locked. Another person from this very community wrote that I was one of the kindest people she knows!

WTF, people? I got a rep to protect here! I'll have you know, I'm very mean! I make people cry! And I -- aw, who am I kidding?

I've worked hard over the last five years to not be that unapproachable kid with an attitude problem. I've tried not to be scary while still remaining authentic. And the things I've heard from my community lately makes me realize I'm making some progress. So I'm feeling grateful today, to myself, for the work I've done, but more importantly, to you all, who see me and tell me so.

I guess I'm not invisible after all -- and what you see is not what I used to be, but who I am now. Thanks.

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