Thursday, Dec. 30, 2004 | 12:43 p.m.



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Still More Coolness

Cretinous Cretins!

Furious is too wimpy a word to explain how I feel at this moment. On the evening of December 23, the battery died on the minivan, unbeknownst to us. Jeff thought he had locked it via the key remote, but as the battery was dead, it didn't lock. Some slimy little wastes of sperm and egg took it upon themselves to climb in, empty every available compartment and take all the cash (about $30) and a checkbook.

I was in a pretty good mood at the time and joked about them buying their skanky girlfriends some lame present with the $30 they took (Jeff, being the good feminist he is, remarked that it was sexist of me to assume it was guys). We cancelled the book of checks, filed a police report, called it good.

This afternoon Jeff suggested we check our account just to see what's going on. When I logged on, it was almost $850 in the negative. My eyes bulged out of my head and I started beating myself up for somehow missing a transaction, when Jeff said we needed to look to see if it was an unauthorized transaction.

Oh!

The light dawned.

Yes! We should do that!

So clicked over, and...

The cretins have attempted to use our checking information to transfer almost $1300 onto their cell phone!! First, I am incredulous at the stupidity -- hello, traceable? Goddamn idiots. But mostly I am incensed because now I have to change all my checking account info -- new number, all that -- and then go to all the places I'm using that info (PayPal, etc.) and make changes there. It's not just costing me money, it's costing me time.

There I was, secretly all bleeding heart and liberal while my dad ranted about crime, thinking maybe they needed that $30 for something important, you know, clothes for kids, food... a @#$! cell phone? Hell, no. That shit is not necessary.

I can't decide what I want/feel/think -- this is the fourth time we've experienced theft like this. Last time they took the whole damned car from a Ronald McDonald House parking lot. Is there a message here? What the hell is it?!

I'm not sure jail really helps people who think the world and its people owe them something. I know there is a component of both poverty and societal expectations in these sorts of acts, but that's long term work. What is the short term solution? What do you think?

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