Saturday, Apr. 23, 2005 | 9:20 a.m.
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We went and it was awful, mainly because Nina screamed as if she were being branded if the doctor so much as put a stethoscope on her back. The ear exam (which was just your average ear exam with the little light thingy) actually caused her discomfort, I think, because her ears are infected, but other than that, it was really an innocuous process and Nina just isn't used to it. The upshot is she has a viral infection, which we pretty much knew, and an ear infection. Since it was just an urgent care clinic, we didn't really bring the allergies up. That will have to wait until we can get in with a real pediatrician. Thalia recommended one, so we'll give that practice a shot.
When we came back from our almost-three-hour ordeal at the clinic, Nina fell asleep and woke up even worse than she was when we left. I'm glad we decided to take her, because I did waver yesterday morning. She started an antibiotic last night for her ear and seems better this morning. I sure hope so. Being the "Chosen One" who has to do all the holding of a baby with a constant whine is exhausting and quite honestly, annoying. "Breathe into compassion," I tell myself, but I can't hear myself over the buzzsaw on my right hip.
Anyway. I appreciate all the support and suggestions. This really came out of left field for me -- the anxiety over the doctor. It's been there ever since Jasmine died, but I didn't have to really look at it until this week. I wonder how many more mine fields are lurking?
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