Dragonflies, Butterflies & Lady Bugs

Making Things Happen

I have a really bad life habit. I get interested in something, I devour it, learn everything about it I can, then I am done and ready to move on. The problem? I usually haven't finished it. It's like the "doing" is in the learning and planning -- not in the actual implementing. Therapists over the years have told me this is common in people with above-average intelligence. First, I have a hard time believing that -- there are tons of successful above-average people out there who had to follow-through with something to make it happen. Second, what a cop-out/ego stroke that is! "Oh, I'm just too smart to stick with something." Uh, yeah. That statement works.

That's all fine and abstract, eh? Well, one thing in particular I'm referring to is my quest for a healthy, fit body. No, I haven't given up, but I am definitely at that point, the one where I've figured out the exercise component, figured out the nutrition component and "just" have to turn it into a lifestyle change. 'Cause I know that having a healthy body means modifying the way I've always done things. You do what you always do and you'll get what you always got, y'know.

But it doesn't stop there. Writing. I know what I need to do in order to hone the craft, the resources are there to help me take the next step, but I'm stopped, stuck on my own inability to actually translate a good plan into good action. And I'm good at rationalizing it -- I tell myself I'm not creative enough, that I don't know what to do with something once I've written it, I am really not that great a writer, on and on ad nauseum, but really it's that when faced with the time to stop talking and do, I stop so fast my contacts fall out. Okay, they don't really fall out, but I stop fast -- and just can't make it over.

Money woes? I'm a great budgeter and figurer-outter. But actually putting that research into reality? Ahem.

Scrapbooking? Yeah, I have all the stuff and the books to learn how, pictures gathered, but it's all sitting in boxes, waiting to actually manifest. Same goes with knitting and crocheting.

Yesterday I was sharing this truth about myself with Thalia. I've known it for awhile, but I used to be really good at hiding from it, at finding "good" reasons why I never moved forward with something. The only place I've really moved beyond this is in my spiritual work. And even there I constantly fight the desire to stop, to retreat into my cave. Thalia suggested a life coach. I don't know how helpful that would be. Any life coach/therapist-type who works with me has to be really good and really not afraid to push. Otherwise I walk right over them, consciously or unconsciously. I'm definitely at the place where I can be honest about the issue and where I know I want to make a change, to be the person who is not only good at researching and formulating solutions, but also at making things happen. But maybe I'll stop after finding the right person to help. Heh.

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