Saturday, Aug. 06, 2005 | 3:45 p.m.
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We will be moving in the next few weeks -- it's part of the center of chaos in my life right now. Isn't there always chaos? Yes, I suppose so, at least for me. So for the past few months, it has been about money. The inheritance is gone and we are trying to work with the income we have, which is pretty much bordering the poverty level.
I alternately berate myself and calm myself about the money being gone. It afforded time with Jasmine we wouldn't have otherwise had, and healing time we wouldn't have otherwise had, but we would have more to show for it (a house, for example) if the employment thing had happened sooner. I have a lot of Pride and Self point issues going on around this whole thing.
There is a push-and-pull in our house right now because I could alleviate most of the budgetary tightness by going back to work and Jeff and I both know it. While Jeff supports me going to school, he's as scared of our tiny income as I am and wishes I would work. I feel like it's trading a small fix for the larger picture. I feel like going back to work now would be resignation to a life of working for money, not of working for something I care about. I know realistically I could go back to work and then go back to school later, but I also know it could get comfy with that money, and if the lack of money doesn't push Jeff to move up quickly now, how would it then?
There is probably financial assistance of some sort out there -- I haven't delved into ASU financial aid yet and I will, as soon as my grades are posted and I'm off academic probation. I am averse to public assistance and/or student loans, but would do grants if there are any left to be had.
At any rate, the current plan is to sell both vehicles and replace them with a newish motorcycle for Jeff's commute and a fuel efficient car, probably a mid-to-late 90's model. This will hugely reduce gas and other vehicle costs. We're moving into a home that will cost between $150 and $200 less than what we pay now and the money we pocket from selling our vehicles, coupled with other budget cuts and Jeff's income should buy us the time he needs to get promoted to police recruit. And it will work... we just need to make it happen now.
Recent Entries ...
Go Here - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2006
Short, But Sad Good-bye - Sunday, Oct. 16, 2005
Jasmine's Story ... Our Story - Friday, Sept. 30, 2005
Ache - Thursday, Sept. 29, 2005
Twists & Turns - Tuesday, Sept. 27, 2005
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