Dragonflies, Butterflies & Lady Bugs

Body Parts and Fire

I know you don't want to read yet another entry about how my body aches, but damn, we worked my shoulders good today. Last week was very good -- some soreness, but not of the debilitating kind. The scale is inching down, though my impending period will probably halt that somewhat. Anyway, for anyone who was wondering, Project Healthy Body is continuing and I am on track.

Our trip to Arizona is two weeks from today. You'll notice that I have not brought up our decision process here. Don't let yourself think that means we haven't been thinking and talking about it. We're still pretty much in the same place we were when we last posted. A few pros and cons have been added to each column, so again, they are pretty equally balanced. Jeff has continued to indicate a desire not to move, mainly, I think, to avoid the general hassle. On the other hand, his efforts to get a job here in Bloomington haven't been immediately rewarding either. He's now working with a life coach, who is basically an unbiased person to cheer and guide him through the process of finding a career somewhere. I think that will work out well wherever we go.

I have to admit I'm kind of hoping I'll have an "a-ha" moment of some kind when we get to Arizona. Either, "A-ha, there is no way I can live in this searing heat surrounded by brown, drought-stricken death," or "A-ha, there is so much here that I can deal with the trade-off of searing heat and brown, drought-stricken death." I am counting on this trip to bring some clarity so we can finally get off the pot. There are things to be done, whichever way it goes, and besides, living in this limbo is really driving me crazy.

In completely unrelated news, I had a really bizarre dream last night that's been dogging me all morning. In my dream, when someone dies, the family attends to that person's head by cremating it in this special little kiln-looking thing, about the size of a hatbox. And it was my job, for some reason, to attend to this process for my family. So I went to this place and picked up the heads, which were in this thick, waxed paper. I did some sort of ritual over them with incense, water and earth, then I put them in the kiln to be cremated. The ritual involved releasing their spirit and yet somehow retaining the parts of them that were precious to family members. It was all very strange.

Anyhow, that's Tuesday so far for me.

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